INCOMING

Poor little wooden board. Hold still by two people while a third one is falling down from the sky only to break you apart. How unfair! This is one rare instance where taekwondo proverbial loyalty faints. Paradoxes aside, this makes me think of all the times in this sport you know something bad is coming but you can't do anything to stop it. When you dramatically miss your opponent and you're left with only kissing their next kick; when you're waiting for the poomsae score of someone who's just performed much better than you; when you take a false step during a demonstration and you can't help losing your balance in front of a giggling crowd.
I guess now you're expecting some inspirational lesson from this, but the best I can say is that sometimes boards just won't break, no matter how many times they got hit. Just try to keep this in mind when you take a hard beat, not while you're jumping over a hill of crouching gym mates.

A WALK IN THE PARK

Once you're a taekwondist in the gym, you're a taekwondist everywhere.

ON TARGET

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT - Train your aim. Your feet will thank you.
You wanna know how to make me a rich man? Give me 1 euro for every elbow I hit in my TKD history. As electronic body protectors and foot sensor socks are becoming the worldwide standard fighting gear, precision is getting more and more crucial. However, kicking accuracy has always been important to protect your safety, as there are many things you risk to hit in battle that are usually harder than your insteps. Unlike the guy in the picture, though, I suggest you to use clap kickers for accuracy training, unless you want to find out how Achilles managed to take that famous arrow to the heel.

HIDE & SEEK

If there is one thing Roberto Benigni taught us in Life is Beautiful, it's that no nearby fight should stop a child from playing. No matter how very close.

CONJOINED TWINS

So you chose Taekwondo because there are no shoelaces to deal with? I'm afraid you didn't take belt and body protections into account.

THE SUN OUTSIDE

The summer is upon us. Warming up doesn't take an hour as it did in February, your dobok becomes a sponge as soon as you wear it, and taking a shower after training will soon become a gearless fight against swarms of ninja mosquitos. Besides, it feels somewhat masochistic to shut yourself up in the gym when the Sun outside spreads its glory on every inch of green still resisting in town. However, I admit I still feel like training. I love the relaxed condition muscles benefit from the heat, and more than anything I love being able to perform a yop chaghi without having to pray the Holy Vergin to preserve me from repetitive strain injuries. Soon the sport season will be over, and no summertime occasional training will maintain me fit for the next September restart. But you know what? Who cares, it's almost summer! Hey boy, bring me another mojito!

STRIP GIRL VOL. 2

She's not a black belt. She's a black hole.

MAD MAT

When it's too soft. When it's too hard. When it's too new. When it's too old. When it's too high. When it's too dirty. When it's too slippery. When it's consumed. When it's got holes in. When it's too little. When it's not aligned with the judges. When you run out of excuses.

HAUNTED

Many of us were told that Poomsae are fights against an imaginary opponent, or a shadow. I've been practicing this discipline for almost 20 years and I can easily say this. 1. That opponent is bloody real. 2. He leads a whole army.
I wrote it in one of my frist posts on this blog; fighting is harder, Poomsae are crueler. If you mess it up, there is no second round, no second chance, no 3 points headshot to aim for. Moreover, this event forces you to cope with your most unsettling dark sides. When you approach the competition area, your unconscious starts to hunt you down in every possible way. The fear of losing. The fear of trembling on the first stance. The fear of losing your balance on those decisive side kicks. The fear to disappoint your teacher. The fear to disappoint your students. The fear to feel bad when you do something you're supposed to enjoy. The fear of being too old to compete at a high level. The fear of being too sick to compete at all. The fear of the fear. The fear, the fear.
Damn.We're getting screwed, my friends. Yeah, this is supposed to be our passion, but not in the Christ's sense. You know, I'm 32 and I'm realizing I don't give a damn about winning anymore. I don't need to beat anyone to feel I'm someone. I just want to be the best person I can be and I still think kicking in front of a crowd can make you a stronger person when it'll be life to kick you hard in the face. I want to dominate the competition, not win it. Fuck the podium. Fuck those ugly medals. Fuck the ephimeral glory of an instant. Now I want my peace of mind. I want my sport to make me smile. It took me 10 full years to come back competitive after the 3 years stop I was forced to in my 20s. I remember long winters training alone in a grey gym so far from home. I remember my ex-girlfriend telling me to quit, because my mind and body could not take it any more. I don't rememember her at all when my disease reached its peak.
I remember my kind master's last days. I remember his taekwondo school being taken up by a bunch of fools who could not stand their shadow, let alone fight it. I remember being kicked out. <<Because your teachings harm the gym>>. Yes, and donkeys have wings.
They have names. They all have names. You see, it's not some obscure evil coming out of the blue only to devour a generation for fun's sake. It's not "the crisis". It's people with names and surnames. The night before my last tournament I did not dream of victory. Nor defeat. I dreamt I was kicked out of my gym. Once again. How many ghosts for me on that mat the following day.
You see, I tend to remember a lot. And I know what I'll remember of this last sunday. That my first student rocked so hard she made my heart pound. That the last thing I did before stepping on the mat was telling a joke to the most ridiculously sweet girl you could hope to have in your team. That my kicks did not tremble, and that I had a blast with them.

I AM ALWAYS WATCHING YOUR BACK

'Cause it's worth it. 'Cause you deserve it. 'Cause no ungrateful villain can undo what we can do together.